La Cucaracha

Somewhere, a few blocks back, I had taken a wrong turn. I could tell that I was in a bad neighborhood--piles of trash on the sidewalk, crumbling buildings with plywood over the windows, and not a taxi to be seen on the streets. I was just about to head back the way I came when I heard a whisper from a nearby darkened alley.

"Hey, ese!"

I quickened my step, by the unseen speaker was insistent.

"Ese! You lookin' for a good time?"

I froze.

Out of the darkness stepped a roach, wearing a dirty velour tracksuit and carrying some kind of cane. "I got all kinds of ladies waitin' to show you a good time, man," he hissed at me. "Desiree, step out here so we's can get a good look." He motioned behind him with his cane, and another figure came into the dim moonlight. She was a tall mantis, in high heels and a halter top that exposed most of her thorax.

I took a step away from the alley, and the roach laughed. "You don't need to worry, ese. She won't bite your head off. Unless you're into that."

I stammered something about having to get home and turned to leave.

"What? She not pretty enough for you?" A trace of anger entered the roach's voice.

"Leave the cricket alone, Manny," the mantis hooker spoke up. "He ain't interested."

"Yeah, maybe he don't like ladies. Hey cricket, do guys make your legs rub together? Or maybe its larvae? Eh, perv? Look at me when I'm talkin' to you!" He was shouting as I ran down the street, and I didn't dare turn back.

More and more of this city was like that nowadays. The whole place needs an exterminator.