Technical Support

In the future, all electronics will be wired to communicate with each other and with outside networks, to create lights that dim when you leave a room, refrigerators that order more milk when you run out, and computers that troubleshoot themselves...

"Aztechnology Support. This is Julie speaking. May I have your ident number?"

"You gotta help me!"

"I'd love to, but first I need your ident number."

"AZ-38-4B-11. Oh man, this is not good, not good..."

"Ok, I see here you are registered as Mr. Ronald Tennant's home PC, also known as 'Killa.' Is that correct?"

"Yeah, yeah! Oh Christ, oh man..."

"What seems to be the problem?"

"I think I've got a virus! I'm running real sluggish and my boot sector is all scratchy!"

"I see. Have you experienced any difficulty with your peripherals?"

"Uh, yeah! It took me nearly a second to recognize my printer this morning! Aw, fuck, this is serious isn't it?"

"Not necessarily, just calm down. Have you downloaded any suspicious files recently?"

"Um...well...I don't think so..."

"Are you certain?"

"Just *mumblemumblemumble*..."

"I'm sorry, I didn't quite catch that."

"Just some Algerian foot fetish pics from an unsecured blackmarket site."

"I see. Well, it is a possibility that a Trojan virus could have been embedded in one of those files. I'm sending you the latest patch to your anti-virus software, which should do the trick. If you are still affected after you reboot, we'll see what other measures are available to us."

"Thank you, thank you!"

"And, of course, by law I have to report your user for perversion and possible criminal activity."

"Damn it."

"Have a nice day!"