New Dance Commander-in-Chief of Phunkistan

Djboogi, Phunkistan (AP) -- After a series of bloody coups and vicious dance-offs, General I. Wanabop has installed himself as the Dance Commander-in-Chief for life of Phunkistan. In a public address held yesterday in the capital city of Djboogi, a representative introduced the new leader, stating, "You must obey the dance commander. You know that he's the only one who gives the orders here." The response was a series of cheers and hoots, with most of the crowd giving the national signal for party unity by raising their hands in the air like they just didn't care. General Wanabop, resplendent in his white velour leisure suit, greeted his people. "I can't hear you!" he shouted, which drew loud whistles from the crowd. He then went on to detail the plan for his new regime. "I wanna make it last forever," he stated confidently.