Join the Smarmy!

Be a part of the United States Smarmy and become one of the best-trained, most dedicated, and oiliest Servile Officer in the world. The Smarm Forces of this great country are prepared to obsequiosly serve our country's self-interests whenever and wherever they are needed.

Join today and receive two years of sanctimonious training and up to $50,000 in unctuous benefits!

Any way you serve, you are smarmy strong.