Happy Belated

Holy crap, I just today realized that I missed this blog's one-year blogaversary! I am such a bad blog parent. My blog is going to grow up and have all sorts of blog-esteem issues. It'll probably have to go to blogerapy for years before it can forgive me. Oh great, now I have Cat Stevens' "Cat's in the Cradle" running through my head. *sniff*

My blog was just like me, it grew up just like me...

Anyway, to celebrate this possibly momentous occasion, and to herald what I hope will be a return to regular posting, here is some more list-based comedy you've come to know and love!

Things That Have Changed Since I Started This Blog

• I moved from Manhattan to Queens, but I still haven't told that loan shark from whom I borrowed a few thousand dollars. Suck on it, Vinnie!
• I think, maybe, that I lost a couple of pounds. Not carrying around that bowling ball every single day seemed to help, though.
• New shoes!
• A dark, swirling miasma of eldritch energy now circles my office building. I think it may be why the elevators here are so unreliable.
• For some reason, I can now no longer stand the taste, smell, or sight of lime Jell-O.
• The world's water level raised 0.00000014 centimeters.
• I made incredible progress on developing Grand Unified Theory, but then I got drunk, fell down some stairs, and forgot it.
• We're all one year closer to death!