Rejected McSweeney's Articles (a McSweeney's-style list)

• "An Alphabetical List of Little-Known Cancers"
• "Open Letters to My Shoes"
• "Items from the North Pole Police Blotter"
• "BUZZ: The Onomatopoeia Story"
  
• "A Very Impractical Problem-Solving Guide"
• "Fictional People Do Things Completely Out of Character"
• "Some Guy You Never Heard Of Writes, Like, Seven Words"