I'm Back!

Where have I been for the past week? Mostly lying face down in the gutter after drinking myself into insensibility. But on the plus side, I've got some new cocktail recipes to show for it.

Rum, White and Blue
2 ounces dark rum
2 ounces blue curacao
2 ounces whole milk
Combine all ingredients in a shaker half-filled with ice cubes. Shake well. Strain through American flag into a highball glass.

Fusty Bucker
1 ounce vodka
1 ounce peach schnapps
3 ounces orange juice
1 orange wedge
Leave orange wedge on counter for 12 hours, then place at bottom of cocktail glass. Pour vodka into cocktail glass. Mix peach schnapps and orange juice in a separate glass. Drink vodka in one gulp, then use the schnapps-orange juice mixture to swallow moldy orange wedge whole.

Bloody Hell
2 ounces gin
3 ounces tomato juice (or V8)
1 cube beef bouillon
1 dash of Worcestershire sauce
1 dash Tabasco sauce
1 squirt Heinz fancy ketchup
1 lemon wedge
Mix all ingredients but gin in a large glass, allowing the bouillon cube to dissolve. Garnish with lemon wedge. Trick some gullible idiot into drinking it while you sip the gin, with tonic, over ice. And laugh. Laugh your head off.

Liver Puncher
2 ounces tequila
2 ounces gin
2 ounces light rum
2 ounces dark rum
2 ounces vodka
2 ounces bourbon
2 ounces Irish whiskey
2 ounces anisette
2 ounces Bailey's Irish cream
1 ounce club soda
Combine all ingredients in an extra-large frosty mug. Shake well, then drink. Wonder where you are when you gain consciousness.