The Gordian...NOT!

TV executives, if you're out there (and I know you are), have I got an idea for you! The early life of Alexander the Great reimagined in present-day Southern California.

Ext. High School Campus. Alexander shyly approaches two pretty girls.
Jennifer: She think's she's so Prada, but she's not even JC Penny.
Heather: Yeah.
Alexander: Hi, Jenn, I was wondering if...
Jennifer: Just keep walking, loser.
Alexander cuts her in half with his sword.

Int. Classroom. Alexander is being dressed down by a teacher.
Mr. Vanderchuck: Alexander, this report is simply unacceptable. Your thesis is muddled, your reasoning is completely out of left field, and I can't even find your conclusion. I'm afraid you'll have to redo it, or I'll be forced to give you an F.
Alexander cuts him in half with his sword.

Int. Principal's Office. Miss Dougherty sits behind her desk, her lips pursed and a large file, stuffed with papers in front of her. Before she can speak, Alexander cuts her in half with his sword.

I'll be waiting by my phone TV executives!